Words and music by Stephen Smith and Andrew Wilkins
| Introduction: | |||
| D B F# | |||
| D B F# | |||
| D B E | |||
| D B E | |||
| D B B | |||
| D B B | |||
| . . . | |||
| Verse: | |||
| E | D | ||
| E A G F# | D A G F# | ||
| Got my d20, and it's | ready to go. | ||
| A | B | ||
| A A G F# | B A G F# | ||
| Make a skill check and | take the throw. | ||
| E | D | ||
| E A G F# | D A G F# | ||
| Army of nerds back in | Viet Nam. | ||
| A | B | ||
| A A G F# | B A G F# | ||
| Waving calculators at the | Viet Cong. | ||
| E | D | ||
| E A G F# | D A G F# | ||
| We weren't strong, and | we weren't fast. | ||
| A | B | ||
| A A G F# | B A G F# | ||
| But we knew MIPS and | calculas. | ||
| E | D | ||
| E A G F# | D A G F# | ||
| From Dien Ben Fu to the | Bay of Pigs. | ||
| A | B | ||
| A A G F# | B A G F# | ||
| That's in Cuba, but we'll | whup you in trig. | ||
| Chorus: | |||
| F# | E | D | A B |
| F# A B C# D C# B A | D C# B A E D C# B | D E D C# B C# B A | A G# F# E |
| Guys with glasses | can't be a fighter | pilot | |
| F# | E | D | A B |
| F# A B C# D C# B A | D C# B A E D C# B | D E D C# B C# B A | A G# F# E |
| Guys with glasses | can't use a sniper | rifle | |
| F# | E | D | A B |
| F# A B C# D C# B A | D C# B A E D C# B | D E D C# B C# B A | A G# F# E |
| Put us in fatigues and | hope we don't de- | file it | |
| F# | E | D | A B |
| F# A B C# D C# B A | D C# B A E D C# B | D E D C# B C# B A | A G# F# E |
| I wish I was back in | France looking at the | Eiffel. | |
| Verse: | |||
| We were in the trenches trying | not to cry. | ||
| Suddenly, we looked | up at the sky. | ||
| Gestalt commies | piling up. | ||
| Form the Destructor! | (Wow! This coat is amazing!). |
||
| Batting fighter planes out | of the air. | ||
| Picking up snipers hidden | everywhere. | ||
| Everyone fled, but | we were too slow. | ||
| Our inhalers had run | out long ago. | ||
| Repeat chorus | |||
| Bridge: | |||
| E | F# | B | C# |
| N.C. | |||
| E | F# | B | C# |
| G# | G# F# | E D# | |
| Repeat chorus | |||
| Verse: | |||
| We said something N00B, but he | didn't understand. | ||
| Nor Starcraft as he | ravaged the land. | ||
| We pooled our minds to | take Charlie down. | ||
| Maybe our acne could | make him drown | ||
| He said something 1337, and | half of us were gone. | ||
| We critical hit and | finished the song. | ||
| N.C. | |||
| Interlude: | |||
| D B F# | |||
| D B F# | |||
| D B E | |||
| D B E | |||
| D B B | |||
| D B B | |||
| . . . | |||
| I am Optimus Prime! | |||
| Repeat chorus | |||